The Many (Not-So-Serious) Reasons I Love Apartment Living…

I’m generally a patient person, but having experienced several frustrating situations at our apartment complex over the last few weeks, I’ve had it.

After slipping and sliding down inadequately shoveled and salted flights of stairs and sidewalks over the last few days, it started me thinking about the plentiful reasons why I love apartment life:

#1. It’s convenient that only one person can cook in the kitchen at a time.

I don’t really like to cook–so it’s quite helpful that only one person can stand in our adorably tiny kitchen at a time. In fact, one of my students even warned me of how her uncle was nearly bludgeoned to death in an unfortunate kitchen accident–simply because two people tried to use the kitchen at the same time. The bonus? You get to wait to set the table, get anything out of the pantry or fridge, or load or unload the dishwasher. It’s almost like you’re forced not to multitask–because, after all, why wouldn’t we want less time in our day?

#2. You get to learn all about your neighbors.

That’s right–paper-thin walls ensure that you hear every baby cry, every drunken fight, and every wild frat boy that’s invited over on the weekend. Oh, did I mention the oven timers going off, the cell phones ringing, and every dog bark? It’s like every moment in apartment life has its own unique soundtrack–and you learn all about those neighbors you never even have time to talk to!

#3. All the free entertainment you could possibly watch.

Forget paying for cable to watch Jersey Shore and Jerry Springer–that sort of drama is right outside my front door! All I have to do is walk out to the balcony and listen to the unfolding saga of betrayal, violence, and stupidity happen in my building. And when the cops are called in, about two or three times a week, they conveniently bring the troublemakers out to the front of the complex–which means I can literally sit on my couch, eating popcorn and watching the show.

#4. The chance to interact with your property manager builds self-discipline.

It’s really great to be able to regularly flex my debate muscles with a property manager that was no doubt so excited to graduate from the 8th grade. And it’s so nice that she keeps such careful tabs on everyone in our building, and cares about spending their money for them in so many ways that we didn’t even know possible. I’ve really appreciated the opportunity to exercise verbal and physical restraint over my body whenever I see her.

I really hope heaven is as nice as our apartment life...

#5. My neighbor got Rock Band–and it’s almost like we have it too.

Doesn’t everyone love a beginner drummer banging away on a cheap plastic drum kit while you’re trying to fall asleep at night? We didn’t even have to pay for some fancy, new-fangled video game in order to reap the benefits of it.

#6. I love having pride in the building that I live in.

Yeah, you see that dog poop over there from the multiple owners that don’t clean up after their dogs? That serves as a cost-cutting fertilizer for the beautiful rock gardens we have here at our apartment complex. Oh, and look at that–our next-door neighbor left his trash out for the ninth day in a row…he must have a really clean trashcan inside his place. I know, the little boys downstairs just love riding their bikes and proudly displaying them in the middle of the entryway so the whole apartment can get a close look at them as they get some added exercise by clambering up the stairs in a new route. See that empty beer bottle sitting on the steps, leftover from a party two weekends ago? It just serves to show how careful our neighbors are with each other’s property–it hasn’t even been touched by the chain-smoking owner who sat and guzzled 6 of them in an hour.

#7. It’s refreshing to have people yell at you, every once in a while.

I know–how dare I think I should be able to water my potted plants outside on my balcony early on summer mornings? Don’t you know my downstairs neighbors have hundreds of valuable items sitting outside on their porches that can heartily stand up to a deluge of rain, but can’t handle a few sprinkles of water on a hot day? My poor neighbor had to find another place to leave her two-year-old when I accidentally misted the plants as she was smoking and talking on the phone to her best friend for an hour…but it’s always nice to have someone scream and curse at you for ten minutes, isn’t it?

#8. It helps me appreciate my own health.

I can’t tell you how great it’s been to now take pride in my teeth, skin, hair, lungs, and nose now that I’ve lived in apartments for a few years. Not everyone has been blessed with the ability to withstand binge drinking every night, chain-smoking all day long, going six months between hair bleaching, and consuming a balanced diet of Twinkies and potato chips–but I count myself as one of the lucky ones. Gosh, I even have a college degree and a job, to boot–I’m really spoiled rotten.

#9. You have opportunities to invent games about the strangers visiting your building.

Is that a new UPS man? How long did the man in Apartment C really date that blonde girl with the motorcycle before moving onto the redhead? Does the guy across from us indeed only own sleeveless shirts? Are the downstairs neighbors actually running a human trafficking ring out of their place? Why did Apartment F buy a full-sized, retrofitted ambulance as their new car? If I was a gamblin’ girl, I would have lots of opportunities to bet on the strangers that traverse our hollowed hallways.

#10. It’s strengthened my mathematics ability.

I haven’t had a whole lot of opportunities to use the mathematics that were drilled into me for so many years, although I’m sure all my teachers’ claims about geometry and calculus being useful for everyday life will prove true at some point. Nevertheless, I’ve been able to engage in some rudimentary math and learn exactly how much I’ve paid for every square foot of my apartment for the last few years–and the results have motivated me beyond belief.

To all of you friends living in apartments out there, good luck. You’re going to need it.

And…possibly a really good defense lawyer.

The Best 11 Books I Read in 2011…

The chances are good that if you know me, you know I read like a fiend. I love to read, and made 2011 my year to plow through as many books as I possibly could–and to actually keep track of them for once. My goal was to beat my record each month–so, if I read 4 books in January, I would read at least 5 in February.

Well, I started last January and ended up reading 6 books in that first month–so I eventually stalled out around 7-10 books per month. To be clear, this included only my “for funsies” list of books–not the books I read at work.

That’s right, this was my spare time. Luckily, I read quickly…or else I would’ve given up literature forever after reading such duds as War and Peace, Middlemarch, and Madame Bovary. Those were definitely the low points of this year’s reading.

Here’s a quick review of the 11 best books I read in 2011:

The coveted #1 favorite goes to this gem....

#1. Bonhoeffer: Pastor, Martyr, Prophet, Spy by Eric Metaxas

This book is an absolute gem, a timeless treasure, and a lifelong member of my “favorites” list. Don’t let the size of it fool you–even though it’s a sizeable book, if you’re like me, you’ll want to read more by the time you get to the end. Metaxas is a masterful writer, and I can only hope to someday write with as much passion, humor, and insight as him. Even though I was merely reading words on a page, I felt like I had met a kindred spirit in Bonhoeffer…and I was genuinely torn up about his death in the end of the book. I treasure this book so much that it’s one of the very few books I absolutely refuse to loan out.

#2. A Year in Provence by Peter Mayle

Not since I read L. M. Montgomery’s Anne of Green Gables series as a youngster have I been so transported through literature to another place.  Mayle has the most charming descriptions of food, wine, art, landscape and daily life in France, that I read his books over and over again to enjoy his style. It’s like having a seven-course feast for the mind to read his books. Every book I’ve read by him is utterly charming in every way.

#3. The Next Christians by Gabe Lyons

This book is a must-read for anyone in the ministry…heck, for any Christian. It’s fascinating, thought-provoking, and inspiring. It will challenge you personally, as well as the way you look at ministry. I wrote more notes in the margins of this book than any other book, and I feel like my brain was jump-started when I read this.

#4. The Sparrow by Mary Doria Russell

One of my college friends–who wasn’t religious in any way at the time–told me that this was her all-time favorite book. When she then went on to mention that one of the main characters was a priest, I made a mental note to check this book out sometime. I finally buckled down and bought it this year, and while I wouldn’t necessarily say that everyone would love this book, I enjoyed it. The best word I can come up with to describe it is “haunting”–the sort of book that lifts you up, and then sends you crashing down to the ground, then to sit on the ground bruised, pondering the whole situation as you rub your head in reflection.

#5. Amazing Grace: William Wilberforce and the Heroic Campaign to End Slavery by Eric Metaxas

Is it cheating to have two books by the same author on your favorites list? If it is, then sue me–but I guess I just have a soft spot for biographies written by an excellent wordsmith. I read this book after reading Bonhoeffer, and it was just as inspiring. I love a good story about how one person can stand up for what’s right in the midst of an entire society that is stuck in apathy–and when it’s a true story, that’s even better.

#6. E Squared by Matt Beaumont

I’ll admit, I was dubious when my husband brought this home from the going-out-of-business sale at our local bookstore. “It was only 39 cents!” is what he claimed–how could a good book be so cheap? However, reading just a few pages hooked me. The entire book is written in the form of emails, blogs, and texts from co-workers and family members, but in that hilarious tongue-in-cheek style that the rest of the world admires in British literature. I laughed out loud throughout the whole book and often read sections to Tyler because it was so funny. It’s irreverent and occasionally off-color, but will definitely make you feel a bit better about the humdrums of life.

#7. A Testament to Freedom by Dietrich Bonhoeffer

Yes, I’m a bit of a history buff. I’ve been on a WWII kick lately, so I read Mein Kampf (which is like chewing on a wad of dry paper towels–mundane, painful, and not something you’d wish on your biggest enemy), and then launched into a few other history books. After reading Bonhoeffer, I had to go to the primary source and read what Dietrich Bonhoeffer himself had penned in his own hand. This is a great collection of all of his books, as well as many sermons. I’ve been more uplifted and touched by this book than by dozens of other devotional resources. Sometimes it pays to read the classics.

#8. Plan B by Pete Wilson

This is one of those books that magically comes back to you when you’re having a bad week. It’s relevant, raw, and real–and usually, I’d rather have truth delivered to me that way. This has been my go-to recommendation for people when they’re in a tough season of their lives, to offer a fresh voice on how God works through the most difficult times.

#9. The Lords of Discipline by Pat Conroy

This author was recommended to me by a friend, and he’s a fabulous writer. It’s unusual for a book to make me feel so much righteous anger–especially when it’s a fictional piece–but this story did. It’s well-crafted, gritty, serious, and painful. The end is incredibly sad, but I think only a true artist can end on such a sad note. I will warn you, though–the death scenes in this book are awful.

#10. The People of the Mist by H. Rider Haggard

When I stumbled across this little nugget of a book, I had no idea that something written so long ago (published first in 1893) could be such a quaint and captivating adventure. I also had no idea that this British author was friends with Rudyard Kipling and inspired the fictional “Indiana Jones” character that we all know and love today. In his day, these adventure novels were read out loud in classrooms by youngsters across the country–and now, they are resigned to the “free” section of my Amazon Kindle. Regardless, this was a clever and daring little story that I thoroughly enjoyed.

#11. Decision Points by George W. Bush

I don’t care if you hate the man, this is still a fascinating glimpse at the mettle of a true leader. I have a newfound appreciation for how difficult the job of a president is–despite whether I like the president or not. Running this whole US of A thing ain’t easy–and this book will show you that in a way that will make you respect the office more than ever.

There you have it, my friends. My top 11 best reads of 2011.

Now…what about your list?