Notes from the Trenches

Our entire group--all 120 of us!

Two weeks ago, we hosted our annual confirmation weekend retreat, which we called this year the “Encounter Camp”—a focus on spiritual warfare. We took 120 people on this camp and spent the weekend talking about encountering ourselves and our identity, encountering our journey, encountering strongholds in our lives, encountering the battle going on in our lives, and encountering the enemy.

 We chose the theme based on some serious research into spiritual warfare (I found one statistic that said only 20% of all Christians ever study anything about spiritual warfare at any point in their lives) and the observations I’ve noted over the last few years about this generation of middle schoolers—they’re keenly interested in the supernatural and all things mysterious. This is the generation that’s growing up on “Harry Potter” and “Twilight” and it shows.

We had incredibly powerful Bible studies—at one point, we had a session that went for two hours and the kids were literally on the edge of their seats, Bibles open and brains fully engaged the whole time. We also had an optional night Bible study—sort of a “question and answer” format–that 35 youth came to and participated in for over three hours.

Yes, three hours—of their own, highly coveted free time. A third of the kids at this camp chose to spend their free time in Bible study.

Whoever says that kids aren’t interested in the Bible is wrong—these kids were hanging on every word we said, flipping open their Bibles and devouring the Word.

I also had a “Parent Recap” meeting after we got back from the camp. As soon as we got back, all the kids brought their lunches in to our youth building, and the parents joined their kids and listened as Pastor Jon and I talked about what we had talked about this weekend, gave them some questions to start dialogues with their kids, gave them some resource lists for further study, and encouraged the parents. It was a big risk—our church has never done anything like this. But, the room was full, and I had parents coming up with tears in their eyes, hugging me and saying they were so glad we did something like this.

Small groups working together

While spending an entire weekend with these middle school kids with my scrutinizing mind on full alert, I observed a few things:

•  This generation of students seems to crave adult interaction. I used to think that teenagers wanted nothing to do with adults—of course, I’m dealing with middle schoolers, so they’re not yet fully displaying the “typical” attitude of high schoolers. However, even in my high school students that I connect with around church, I’m seeing the same thing. I think these kids are almost “wise beyond their years” and do better than even my generation did in interacting with adults at this age.

• These middle schoolers are dealing with things I didn’t even think about until I was in the upper grades of high school. Most of the kids I talk to tell me that they have friends who are having sex and are worried about getting pregnant, know kids who are doing drugs, know kids who are drinking—and nearly every single youth I talk to knows someone who is cutting.

• 

  Running and colliding in the Trash Can Game

  These kids seem to know they’ve been missed up by their parents’ divorces, and are very serious—even now—about not ever getting divorced. The girls in my small group are so adamant about not screwing up their future marriages that they’re thinking through their decisions even now and thinking about the type of person they want to marry—as 13 and 14 year olds.

• This generation is the technology generation–I’m astounded at how this generation only 10 years under me is even more immersed in technology than I am. But, I have a hunch that because this generation is so into technology, they’re also craving face-to-face human interaction and touch more than any other generation. They go home to their Facebook accounts and iPhones and chat with friends all night—but when they see their friends, they’re really into touching each other—not in a weird way, but in a way that seems to say to me that they want to know that there’s more to life than computer screens and cell phones. For instance, every time my small group prays, the girls insist on holding hands—and I saw that in several other groups this weekend.

• They don’t know what to do with free time. I know most of them rarely have it at home, with their insanely busy schedules. They’re so used to having every moment of their day mapped out that we have to coach them to think of creative things to do when they do have free time. On top of that, a lot of them were very anxious about knowing exactly what the schedule of the weekend was—I think this is probably a byproduct of how we’ve over programmed these kids. 

The Fruit of This Generation…

I’m currently slogging through mounds of information regarding the spiritual warfare that Christians encounter in the world, since that’s the subject of our upcoming middle school confirmation retreat. I’ve spent the last two days listening to Mark Driscoll’s February 2008 lectures on the subject. Wow, it’s a doozy–an incredibly interesting, useful, much-needed doozy.

I read some research a few weeks ago by experts Dillon Burroughs and Marla Alupoaicei, co-authors of the newly released book, Generation Hex. They cited a Barna study, which showed that fewer than 20% of teenagers are ever exposed to any sort of teaching that deals with supernatural or paranormal subject matter. So, I’m glad that we’re diving into this topic with our youth–as challenging as it might be for us, their spiritual leaders, to decipher.

You only need to spend about ten minutes checking out what today’s youth are reading and watching to see that they’re completely fascinated with it. Almost all of the middle schoolers I know have read the Twilight series and Harry Potter. Many are fascinated by the supernatural thrillers of Ted Dekker. They’re clamoring about shows like “Vampire Diaries”, “Heroes”, “Flash Forward” and “V”–all programs revolving exclusively around the supernatural. And let’s not even mention the movies that fascinate them….I don’t have all day here.

What’s interesting about this is that I’m really only ten years older than this generation of middle schoolers–yet their experience is so different from mine already, and they have such vastly different personalities as a result of it. Get away from the fact that they cut their teeth on computers and DVD players, received cell phones as grade schoolers, and think that touch-screen technology is common-place–what’s more interesting to me is what they’re utterly fascinated by.

When I think of my childhood media influences, I remember Mighty Mouse, Woody Woodpecker, Tom and Jerry, Chip and Dale Rescue Rangers, the Goof Troop, the Space Jam characters, and a whole lot of other happy-go-lucky talking animals.

This next generation is growing up embracing a much darker, much more realistic and mature group of media darlings.

Despite the fact that this next generation grew up in a cutting-edge, technology-saturated world–a world where they are exposed to more information than ever before in the history of all the world, right at their very fingertips–they are keenly interested in mystery. Things that cannot be explained by facts and photos. Things that send a shiver down your spine instead of a concrete understanding. Things that demonstrate that we don’t have it all figured out, that we’re not the masters of the world.

The most frequently asked questions I have from middle schoolers and high schoolers alike are questions about the supernatural: “Are ghosts real? What’s the battle going on between God and Satan? Can a Christian become possessed by a demon? What authority do we have as Christians?”

I can’t help but think of the oft-quoted sentence from The Screwtape Letters by C.S. Lewis: “There are two equal and opposite errors into which our race can fall about the devils. One is to disbelieve their existence. The other is to believe, and to feel and excessive and unhealthy interest in them.”

I’m not sure yet if we’ll grow up to see that this generation developed an unhealthy interest in the supernatural…but I am hopeful that we’ll see a departure from the egocentric follies of the generations before us–those who turned away from God and instead embraced facts and figures.

Maybe this generation will dramatically change the world–in a way that no one saw coming. No one would guess that our kids, growing up with more opportunities and knowledge available than anyone else in history, might return us to a simple, awe-inspired fear of God and a healthy fear of evil.

Revel in the Chaos

Sometimes I just want to sit and revel in what I do.

Take last night, for example. I co-lead a small group of eighth grade girls with an awesome co-leader, Dawn—a rare gem who accurately interprets my many side glances at her, which range from pleading looks of helplessness to moments of total perplexity as we participate in the rollercoaster that is junior high ministry.

Last night, we met at my apartment for our Bible study. Our apartment is, oh, slightly larger than a shoebox (perhaps the size of an Uggs boot box is a more accurate description), so trapping seven teenagers and two adults inside one small room usually raises the temperature about five degrees every hour. On cold days, I’ve often wished that I could invite them all over and just set them loose—I’d never have to turn on the heat.

Of course, I’d probably end up evicted within the day.

Keep in mind that we have two puppies with sharp, gnawing teeth—so there’s really not much in our apartment that teenagers would be able to trash.

Well, I can’t honestly say that they trashed anything. But they did inhale a large pizza, an entire bag of candy corn, and chugged multiple bottles of water (which the dogs promptly destroyed as soon as they set them down on the ground. Guess who’s left picking up tiny bits of plastic and paper all night…). They picked up and fiddled with about every single thing that wasn’t bolted down (candles, DVDs, books, pillows, dishes, you name it). Then, they took turns bouncing on an exercise ball squeezed in between our two Lovesac beanbags as they all chattered loudly at once….and despite the fact that no one could hear a single thing anyone else was saying, they were happy as could be.

Occasionally, I’ll let my mind drift to worst-case scenarios, and last night’s would’ve consisted of someone choking on pizza while attempting to scarf it down while reading Bible verses aloud, someone knocking the painting off the wall and shattering all of the collectibles on our decorative ledge by bouncing too high on the exercise ball, someone tripping over feet and getting impaled by the forty-nine pens left uncapped on the floor, or a neighbor knocking on our door with a bazooka because they think a war is going on in our living room.

Insert truth here:

As much as I poke fun at my girls, I just absolutely adore them. Hands down, they’re the highlight of my week—even with their maddeningly messy, chaotic, stressed out, emotional baggage that characterizes why no one ever looks back at middle school without grimacing. 

Yes, as much as the administrative duties and heavy stresses of running a large program can run me down, I’m so thankful for these little glimpses of hope God drops into my life. Really—to watch these girls put the pieces together, connecting what they’re learning about their faith with their lives, caring for each other and sharing the nitty-gritty challenges of their lives with us, learning how to pray confidently—simply amazing. 

So, although I don’t often get the chance, last night I just reveled in it all.

Don’t Read This If You Have a Weak Stomach…

I’ve been researching some ideas for my next youth event, Double-Dog Dare Night. I stumbled across the website “StuffChristiansLike”, which had a humorous article about how youth pastors must take a class at seminary about how to do gross food games in their youth groups.

Needless to say, I was absolutely floored by the disgusting food games people wrote about in response to this topic. Out of 155 comments, I picked the top ten most revolting games people listed. I can’t believe that these people weren’t fired for doing these games with their youth groups. I have an iron stomach (I’ve conquered all the food dares I’ve ever come across, since I was a wee lassie in grade school), but some of these made me shudder.

In case you don’t believe me, check it out yourself at this website:

http://stuffchristianslike.net/2008/11/434-gross-food-related-youth-group-games/#idc-ctools

I believe one contributor summed it all up best when she remarked, “I’m pretty sure 97% of youth pastors are sadists.”

Remember, I warned you.

 Top 10 Grossest Food-Related Games:

1. Have two male youth take off their shirts and spread peanut butter under one armpit and jelly under the other. Then have two other kids come up on stage, wipe all the peanut butter and jelly off with a piece of bread, and eat the sandwich.
2. Give one half-cup of water to a team and have the first person brush their teeth and rinse with the water. Continue passing the used water along the line, as everyone on the team rinses their teeth with the same cup of water. (Yes, they’re all using backwash to rinse their own mouths….yuck!)
3. Drinking warm soda through a used sock. (Apparently, scores of youth leaders have done this game. One leader wrote, “We had one kid that was notorious for not changing his socks. We challenged him to this—he drank through his sock, and then put it back on his foot, and wore it for the rest of camp. What a legend!”)
4. “Muck Wars”: a concoction of horse food, colored ramen noodles and whatever fruits and veggies are quasi-rotten in the kitchen, blended together and smashed in mouths.
5. Float Spam slices in a tub of water. Kids have to fish them out with their bare toes and feed them to each other—using only their toes.
6. Caramel apples that are really onions on a stick, coated in caramel.
7. Everyone chews a different food (crackers, candy bar, pizza, etc) and spits it out into a large cup. Mix it together and choose someone to eat it in front of everyone.
8. Hot root beer and as many bananas as a youth can eat—”guaranteed to make people puke”.
9. Race to finish a can of Vienna Sausages covered with Redi-Whip.
10. “Human Milk Shake”, a game in which the participants sit in a row and pass some sort of Jello-ish or yogurt-ish substance to the end of the line by swishing it around in their mouth and then spitting it into the next person’s mouth. (Some leaders suggest adding a raw egg to make it even more disgusting…)

 Honorable Mentions:

• Put a raw egg in kids’ mouths and see who can do the most jumps with a jump rope
• All-you-can-drink squid juice
• Mustard-filled Twinkies
• Bobbing for Jolly Ranchers in a bowl of flour
• Melted mini-Snickers bars in Mountain Dew in a (clean) toilet bowl
• Dog food eating contest—both canned and dry dog biscuits mixed together
• See how many live goldfish you can eat in an allotted time
• Challenge kids to eating frozen mayonnaise (which looks exactly like vanilla ice cream)

Never Say Never

Complicated, hyper, changing-their-mood-faster-than-they-can-text, nutty little things. Something to be examined from afar—don’t get too close, or they’ll suck you into their talk of Miley Cyrus and Facebook. Spend too much time with them, and you might end up having them actually confiding their latest crushes to you.

I never thought I could work with middle schoolers. Leave that to the people who never grew out of middle school, right?

A year and a half into my job as the middle school ministry coordinator here at Faith, and I’m not sure I could ever work without middle schoolers. I absolutely adore this age–the complexities and challenges, the joys and pull-my-hair-out frustrations of this tween generation. Without even a hint of sugarcoating, I can honestly say that the biggest joy of my life right now is seeing God working in, through, and amongst the kids here.  What an incredible gift He has given us in these youth—not only in blessing us with these kids, but in allowing us to have a hand in molding them into young men and women of God.

Sometimes I feel like the little kid who was just promoted from the kiddie table at Thanksgiving, and allowed to feast with a proper knife and fork at the Big Table. I often picture myself squinting at God and saying, “Are you sure? Me? Lead your children? But…what if I mess up? What if I don’t know exactly what to do?”

However, that’s the beauty of what God has entrusted us to do. He has blessed us with these kids, and told us to raise our children up and to make them “wise for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus” (2 Timothy 3:14-15).When we’re confused, unsure, or feel like we’ve made a mess of the whole process, we can turn to God and plead anew for help—and not only does He always give us another chance, but He turns our mess into good (“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose”, Romans 8:28).

Jesus says, “You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit—fruit that will last” (John 15:16). Notice that Jesus didn’t say, “Oh yeah, the fruit? It might be ok. Well, I’m not sure really sure if it’ll last or not…it might, or it might not.” He simply says, “I chose you and appointed you. The fruit will last.”

Last week, I was invited to my first eighth grade party. The last time anyone bestowed the honor of inviting me to an eighth grade party was…well, was when I myself was in eighth grade. That made me realize something: if God can work through me—a ball of stress who worries about paying the bills, is cranky in the morning, and yells a bit too loudly at her puppy for having an accident on the carpet—then God can work through anyone. And He does.

Somehow, through our imperfections and shortcomings, His work is still being accomplished. If that doesn’t show the glorious grace of God, I don’t know what does.