“Cassie, you have fun…at times.”

I opened my suitcase and was assaulted with it: the smell of damp, warm, bug-infested, dirt-coated clothing.

I sat there and wondered if there was a setting on my washer that said, “I think there’s something living in my dirty clothes”.

You know, right next to the buttons that say “Medium load, light wash” and “Heavy load, heavy wash”?

Wishful thinking.

We’re finally back from our summer middle school mission trip to St. Petersburg, Florida. We took 28 kids and 10 leaders on the never-ending trek to meet up with the

Our entire team, including our Floridian teammates, after serving at the homeless shelter...

youth at Our Savior’s Lutheran Church (where a former pastor and great friend of ours currently works). It was an incredible experience–I was so blessed to have a simply amazing team of adult leaders, and had the joy of seeing two young high school apprentice leaders blossom on this trip.

You can check it out yourself with the blog we had going during our trip here.

And our kids–I told them on the last night of this trip that they just blew me away. The number of housing changes we faced in the course of our one week trip (we unloaded and reloaded the trailer exactly 10 times), the extreme heat we faced (sweat was just dripping down my face the entire time we were outside), and the difficult conditions we faced when we camped for 3 nights at Fort DeSoto National Park made for a challenging trip for middle schoolers and adults alike. But these kids sailed through it with hardly any complaining, and were united as one by the end of our trip.

In all truthfulness, their constant good behavior, plucky attitudes, and diligent servant hearts gave me hope for the future. Just thinking of all their inside jokes and hilarious antics puts a smile on my face right now.

Another thing that put a smile on my face was reading over our “Care Cards”, a tradition we started last year on our mission trip in Colorado. We hung up bags at our campsite with students’ and leaders’ names on the outside, and everyone was responsible for writing at least one affirming note to each person on their team over the course of the week. Overall, that meant that our kids had to write 38 different notes in just a few days–but they rose to the challenge and wrote things so sweet and meaningful that nearly every kid I saw reading their cards on the last night had tears in their eyes.

I had some serious tear-jerkers myself, even unexpected ones from the goofy class clowns who were on our trip (maybe someday, someone will be able to explain to me why that type of student sticks to me like glue on these trips? It’s not like I’m at my best when I’m lugging around a 4-lb binder with the complete information for the trip everywhere I go and counting children constantly…).

However, mixed into the cards that had such powerful words that they brought me to tears, I had some truly hilarious cards from some of the kids, too:

“Dear Cassie: You are a great, awesome leader. And I love your husband.”

“Cassie, You’re a great leader and you’re really good at not getting mad when bad things happen.”

“Cassie is an interesting, cool young lady who is caring, fun, and loving and can have fun… at times.”

“Dear Cassie–remember to breath.”

Oh, the truthfulness of kids.

In all honesty, this was a difficult trip for me–for the first time, I wasn’t working with a mission organization and was planning the entire trip from scratch. We went farther away than we usually do on mission trips (with bathrooms stops, we drove nearly 20 hours each way), we camped outside in the middle of summer for 3 nights (during which, more than once, I compared myself to Bear Grylls, the gritty survivor of extreme

Our kids, hanging out in downtown St. Pete....

situations), and we ended up taking a student to the emergency room for stitches as well as having to repair a vehicle that got backed into a tree and shattered a window. Our food orders were messed up and we had to scramble to refigure how to feed 60 people, the raccoons at the campsite stole our salads and s’mores supplies every night, and I was the dirtiest and stickiest I’ve ever been in my life. I swatted bugs until my arms were sore and still came home with 134 bug bites (yes, I counted–I need to have a good reason when people ask me why I’m scratching like a dog with fleas!)

But, despite all the headaches and stress and responsibility, the Holy Spirit powerfully moved. And the kids and many of the leaders grew tremendously.

I saw so many of them discover themselves and find out that they have talents and skills they never knew they possessed.

I saw kids who seemed like nothing but goofballs connect to Christ in powerful ways.

I watched students who haven’t ever been away from home make deep friendships and have the time of their lives on this trip.

I watched young men and women cry as they realized the depths of God’s love for them.

It was simply amazing.

However, if I have to hear us cycle through a van count one more time, or smell the scent of sunscreen mingled with bug spray once more, I think I might have a mental breakdown…

172 Hours, 30 Kids, and WAAAAAY Too Many Bathroom Stops

Last evening, I returned home from our middle school mission trip to Loveland, Colorado. I think my brain is still recovering. I sure hope it returns to normal capacity soon.

Our new "family"

You see, I spent the last 172 hours straight with 30 kids under the age of 15. 

Ah. Now you get it.

I slept barely four hours a night, sharing a slowly deflating air mattress with a fellow leader, crammed in a tiny classroom with 15 other girls–three of whom talked in their sleep. I nightly attempted to fall asleep to the sound of boys running down the hall and body slamming into each other.

I ran around and played with little kids at a Boys and Girls Club in Colorado, where I had kids sneezing on me and crawling on my lap to whisper their breathy secrets to me. Naturally, I’m now sick.

I have a hard time hearing anything because my ears have been plugged since we left the Rocky Mountain National Park, where I walked around in a constant state of fear as 30 kids scampered around like Bigfoot running from a camera, flying through the woods and scrambling up and down rocky ledges, craning for a view of the unguarded sheer cliffs. 

In the last week, I’ve only had three showers. And, at one point, I joined the desperate kids in bathing in a local lake–in full knowledge that the toddlers a few feet away were probably tinkling in the very water I was washing my hair in.

I’ve basically lived on sandwiches and water–sometimes not even that much, as I had to share my lunch one day with a kid who forgot his.

I’ve helped sweep, mop, wipe down counters, empty trash cans, pick up infinitesimal pieces of paper off the ground, serve food, cut paper, hand things out, pack and repack vans, inflate air mattresses, hand out medicine, balance our budget, plan our routes, hold cameras for kids, juggle phone calls, break up fights, comfort crying kids, direct leaders, discipline kids, and say “because I said so” more times than I can count.

I’ve been alternately sweaty, freezing, sore, ticked off, mischievous, lackadaisical, angry, sobbing, awed, shocked, organized, disorganized, and exhausted.

But, I’ve never seen God so powerfully at work.

While on our trip, we found out that one of our student’s young cousins had been in a car accident and passed away. It was devastating, and beyond heart wrenching to be the one trying to figure out how, when, and where to inform this student about the tragedy that will forever affect his entire family.

It was heartbreaking to inform the entire group, and to see them tearfully embrace each other as they hurt for their friend, but the way that God worked through the kids is something that touched me deeply and will forever impact my own faith.

Seeing these young kids, some of whom have dealt painfully with death already in the last few months, cling to God in their sorrow–praying for each other, sobbing into each other’s shoulders, holding each other, taking care of each other, praising God in the midst of some of the most challenging moments of their lives–it was beyond moving. Every single person in our group cried together.

Without spending the twelve hours I could spend writing about this entire trip–sharing countless inside jokes, insights into the incredible kids on our team, and the gory details of being inside a car with half a dozen teenage boys who just wolfed down Taco Bell–I really just want to give glory where it’s due.

The Holy Spirit moved powerfully in our kids and leaders this week, in undeniable ways.

There’s something special about our group–and I see them now as part of my family. It sounds like such a corny thing to say, like something that would be written in a senior yearbook by the homecoming queen…but I really mean it. 

Our church is special, our leaders are incredible, and our youth are even more amazing. Our kids were willing to do anything–including leave halfway through our trip and driving straight through the night to get to St. Louis–to get their friend home for his cousin’s funeral.

Some of the students even volunteered themselves up to fly home with their friend, offering to pay for part of their ticket by themselves. Anything it took to help their friend. It was incredible to see how they absolutely paid no attention to themselves, but only strove to do everything they could for each other.

Part of me really feels like I was blessed more by this trip than anyone else–interacting with so many kids who poured out their hearts to me, who challenged me in my own faith, and who ran to me when they were hurting was quite an experience I’ll never forget.

I’ve never felt so connected to a group, many of whom I’d never had a significant conversation with at the beginning of the trip.

I’ve never interacting with leaders who I was so sure were the perfect leaders for this trip.

And I’ve certainly never, ever been more impressed with any group of kids. Ever.

God is good.