Mullet Man, Texting on His Riding Lawnmower…

12 05 2010

Tomorrow is The Day.

My husband and I are headed to sunny southern California to celebrate my little brother’s college graduation. We’re happily anticipating seeing friends and family again, as we lived there for four wonderful years while we ourselves were college students.

Rest assured, I will be armed with my trusty iPhone, ready to snap pictures of the bizarreness that is Orange County.

I’m not sure if anything can top what I saw just the other day, however, at the Arnold City Park right here in my own backyard.

I saw a middle-aged man with one of the most fantastic mullets of all time (slicked back in the front, naturally), perched atop of a state-of-the-art riding lawnmower. He was sporting a dashing ensemble: a checkered flannel shirt, overalls, boots, and a trucker hat.  And, he was going to town, mowing like a bandit.

Don’t worry–I didn’t get to the best part yet.

He was texting furiously. While mowing the park.

I watched him mow an entire length of the long grass field without looking up once.

Oh, what’s that you say? Why is this funny? And why is it a big deal if the dude mowing the park is texting the whole time?

Listen up, sonny–do you want a large, middle-aged Mullet Man too engaged in his twiddling thumbs to notice that he’s driving his half-ton machine with giant blades spinning at super-speed headed right at you and your dogs?

I didn’t think so.

This almost beats the time I was sitting at a traffic light by our house in California (which was located in a beautiful, horse ranch part of town) and watched a teenage girl ride her horse down the side of the street, totally engrossed in her texting. She literally had hundreds of cars whizzing by her as she rode her horse at least an entire block without looking up once. In fact, I’m not sure if she ever looked up that whole ride.

What has this world come to, if someone can’t even ride a horse or lawnmower without tweeting about it to everyone they’ve ever met?

Oh, people–you never cease to fascinate me.

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