How One Extravagant Shoe Purchase Turned Me Into A Bee…Oops.

15 06 2010

Do you ever find yourself doing things you never imagined doing?

Like, if someone predicted what you would be doing in a year, you’d laugh hysterically and somehow manage to smack them on the back while congratulating them for coming up with such a fantastical yarn. And then you’d go about your day, inwardly chuckling at how off-base some of your friends can be.

Then, suddenly, before you know it: surprise. You find yourself doing something totally out-of-character.

 Welcome to my life.

First, let’s get a few things straight: I know myself very well. So well that during my freshman year of college, while sitting through the mandatory meeting with their “career advisor counselor”, I informed the counselor that I didn’t need her help in understanding my “personality profile”. She urged me to take the test, and I flat-out told her exactly what my personality profile was going to be. Somehow, she seemed utterly shocked that I accurately predicted my own personality to a T.

I like writing, painting, and running things. I like people and dogs. I dislike celery and pointless meetings. I hate cilantro and math.

And, I especially hate acting goofy in front of large groups of people.

Don’t get me wrong–I have no qualms about being on stage. I’m in charge of so many things that I sometimes feel I perpetually have a clipboard and agenda glued to my arm. I’m used to knowing and repeating facts, making presentations, and teaching kids and adults alike. I’m even prepared for the random, on-the-spot question that I have to announce to the entire congregation every Sunday morning (which has actually happened, on occasion).

But, for whatever reason, I’m all facts and figures in front of people. Some people (hmmph, Tyler) absolutely adore being on stage and hamming it up. The goofier they can be, the better.

That’s just not me.

So, how exactly did I end up being the lead character in this year’s Vacation Bible School skits and hamming it up in front of hundreds of kids, scores of parents, and my entire staff?

Thanks, shoes, for getting me into this....

I believe it’s due to my shoes. I blame them.

You see, about a month ago, I stopped by a shoe store to scope things out. I found the most adorable pair of bright yellow shoes. I put them on, and felt like I was walking on a ray of sunshine.

But–while they weren’t really expensive, they were totally unnecessary. I fear sounding like a lunatic if I actually tell you how many pairs of flats I own (13).

Naturally, I purchased them immediately and decided to make up my mind later.

Just a few days later, my friend Dawn asked me to consider having the role as the lead bee in this summer’s VBS, which is all about a beehive called “Planet Zoom”. As soon as she presented her offer, I thought of those yellow shoes.

“Hmm,” I said to myself, “I could actually justify keeping those shoes, since they would perfectly compliment that bee costume they’ll undoubtably make me wear.”

And now, a month later, here I stand: Barb Bee, Hive Director.

Ten long skits and about nine thousand lines to learn.

I never, ever would’ve imagined myself as the lead character in a huge VBS production…but here I am.

Darn those yellow shoes.

But–I did justify their purchase. And they do look pretty darn good with my bee costume.

Who has the last laugh now?




7 responses

15 06 2010

They look super cute! I love them! Great Purchase!


15 06 2010

Such a happy color, yellow. No wonder it causes the unexpected in you to burst forth in full flower.

Sad about the cilantro. It’s an acquired taste — I abhorred it at first, but, as I was living in an environment where I had to eat it every day in soup for breakfast, I one day woke up and realized that, egad, I liked it.

Wonder what you would find yourself doing in a pair of orange shoes?


16 06 2010
Kanchana Rubino

I have .. ahem.. two of exact same pairs of purple flats that I LOVE. 😀 I alternate them, so they don’t get worn off too much. A girl and her comfy flats.. hmmm.. Great job on landing that role!

Love your writing style. You sound so happy and nice to be around.


16 06 2010

Congratulations your shoes make you a star! 😉 hehe Wonderful shoes by the way…


17 06 2010

i love your super cute shoes…yellow is such a happy colour


17 06 2010
Vodka and Ground Beef

I totally agree with you. Cute yellow shoes can be blamed for many of life’s oddities.

As they say, Break a Shoe. No, wait – break a leg.


17 06 2010

This is great post. Very funny and well written. Must read more.


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