My Ponytail-Anger Correlation…And How A Squirrel Is Driving Me Insane.

3 03 2011

Even as a little tot, the Ponytail-Anger correlation apparently existed...

I overheard an interesting conversation last night.

I was rounding up my eighth and ninth grade student leaders, who have been helping me lead our Wednesday night Bible studies with a rowdy bunch of fifth and sixth graders. Since we were running short on time, I quickly started explaining how the Bible study would run and assigning jobs to my student helpers for the evening.

As an assertive and highly efficient leader, I’ve learned to counter my strong personality by being overly friendly and warm when dealing with other people. Sometimes, in the heat of the moment, I cast off that fuzzy exterior and get down to business.

It unsettles my younger leaders, because usually they’ve only ever seen me as nice.

One of my helpers confusedly asked, “Cassie, are you mad? What’s wrong?”

Before I could respond, one of my other helpers piped up and matter-of-factly said, “No, she’s not mad. If she was mad, her hair would be in a ponytail.”

That one caught me off-guard.

Immediately, I could recall at least a half-dozen times when I had been at my absolute angriest…and yes, I’d been wearing a ponytail every time I could remember.

I thought of a blow-out fight I had with a boyfriend in high school. I trounced away from him, down the long hallway, and later had a friend remark that she could tell how mad I was by the “killer vibes” she was getting from my swishing ponytail.

I remembered the first big fight I had with my now-husband, Tyler. He eventually followed me back to my dorm room and told me that watching my ponytail swinging “furiously” was his wake-up call to how angry I really was.

So, was I angry last night?

Yes. A bit.

You see, I’m pretty sure there’s a rabid squirrel hanging out around our apartment complex.

And I honestly think he’s out to get me.

Squirrels. They look so cute and cuddly. I always secretly thought that they’d make great pets–after all, they’re small enough to throw in your purse, infinitely more amusing than gerbils and hamsters, and so dexterous.

That childhood dream has been dashed to pieces by the cold reality of trudging up a long flight of stairs to my apartment, and all of a sudden shrieking as this darn rodent swings out mere inches from my face, scampers down the handrail over my hand, and then hangs upside down from the railing, chirping angrily at me.

Listen, you insane little animal: do you pay rent here? Do you have a right to chirp at me with your bossy little voice when you have no business loitering in my apartment complex?

I didn’t think so.

Needless to say, my nerves are a little on edge. This happens nearly every day, after all. I think my little foe actually skulks around, just waiting to attack me every afternoon. Sometimes he’ll even pop out at me in the morning, as I’m trying to carry a mug of steaming hot coffee down the slippery steps to my car.

Devious little rabid monster-squirrel. He’s going to kill me one of these days. I just know it.

Well, guess what? My hair wasn’t in a ponytail last night…but it is today.

Watch out, world.

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One response

5 03 2011
Tyler Moore

The Pendulum of Anger – that’s what I call that ponytail.

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